MySpace Blog 20060119

Ruminations On Friendship

Ahhh. . . the joys of public journals! My private journal is gather dusty bits (since it’s digital), but I find that my insatiable appetite for public opinion, at times, is far greater than my need to maintain mystery!

So, my latest thought. . . friendship and the circles we create. We make friends in school that become lifelong friends. These friendships may have started as far back as elementary school, for me it was junior high since I did elementary school in Philly. My two closest friends were met in junior high school and high school, respectively. I made many friends in high school and college, but the inner circle would certainly include these two. Now, here’s the interesting part. When we move away and our friends are miles or oceans away, we end up making new friends in new areas. Just by virtue of human nature, you may become closer with these new friends than you are with your old ones. I know there are some things that my old friends know nothing about. So, that brings us to the next ring of a growing set of concentric rings that will define this ”friendly” construct. This next ring includes those NEWER friends. This ring is small as well and could be mistaken for the innermost ring with the exception of the AGE of the ring.

Okay, to continue my ALL OVER THE PLACE rumination, let’s now consider the general nature of things. Folks NEED friends. People need People! l have many friends but not many in my inner rings. It amazes me how folks want to get in that inner ring with all the privileges and rights thereof :-) U like my fake legal talk don’t you?

I mean really. I have had so many incidences of ”newly made” friends wanting to know shit about me that I only share with a VERY SMALL FEW!!! Then, they’re all ”I thought we were close” and shit. Have we truly become a society completely on a NEED TO KNOW BASIS?!?!?!

I have a big question: what is a friend? I have slept with friends before. I have truly platonic friends. Of course, I’m speaking of the female ones right now. I have heard so many times that you CANNOT sleep with friends. One of my oldest females friends (24 years and running) and I still talk. We don’t have ”issues” and I’m even godfather to her daughter. There is love between us, but does she know ALL MY BUSINESS? No. So, is a friend someone on whom you can count no matter what? Is a friend someone who shows unconditional love? So what is a girlfriend or boyfriend? Can friends be lovers? Can two people in a committed relationship truly be BEST FRIENDS?

I’ve been thinking about the future of human relationships lately. Removing the gay angle, there is a lopsidedness between men and women. Unless a whole bunch of ladies start fighting wars, that shit aint gonna change. So, where does that leave the idea of marriage and monogamy? DISCLAIMER: PLEASE DON’T GET ME WRONG. I’M NOT ADVOCATING THE DEATH OF MARRIAGE AND MONOGAMIST RELATIONSHIPS. READ THESE NEXT LINES AS SIMPLE THOUGHTS!! Will woman start openly sharing men? Openly meaning that women will be content knowing they’re not the only one! (I know there’s some grammatical craziness with that sentence, but get over it) Will lesbianism take off (even more so)?? I swear. I turn a corner and there’s another woman tonguing another woman down. I have tried to chalk this up to the bicurious FAD, but I am given pause. I don’t have any strong opinions on homosexuality. If that’s your thing, then do it. I have to wonder though. Have women started looking attractive to other women because the male pool has gotten smaller? If there were 5 men or 1 woman, a dude wouldn’t start looking good to me. I’d just be a masturbating fool scratching to survive!! (hahahahahaha. . . where is that line from?)

Anyway, it’s MLK day; I didn’t feel like doing any work; and this is what 30-somethings ruminate about. Sue me and have a nice day....