MySpace Blog 20060131

The Art Of Miscommunication

and i said i need some time and she heard ”lack of commitment”

all i want is you in my life

and she felt ”unappreciated”

i kissed her as soon as she walked in the door

and she cried ”foul, called me an adulterer”

all she said was ”not tonight”

and i plotted my revenge

she said she wants to ”still be friends”

and i hated her passionately

the portrait is stained with colors of red and blue and green

and all she sees is ”gray”

my heart weeps in her absence

and she dismissed my emotion with ”folly”

she devotes all of her ”time” to me

and i complain that i am not enough for her

she offered me love

i gave her my contempt

in the art of miscommunication the lies are blurred

truth obscured

and happiness abandoned

art truly imitates life!

-- "The Art Of Miscommunication" (c) 2006 PoetiQ Sense Of Non

MySpace Blog 20060121

Have U Ever Just Been On Yo Own Shit???

Okay, where’s this coming from??? I was looking at some poems of mine and I was like, ”dayum, u got talent brotha!” LOL. That’s it!! I was feeling myself and thought I’d share with the class. The poem that I was looking at was ”The Wind and The Flower” that I wrote for a friend while being inspired by ”House of the Flying Daggers.” I believe it’s in one of my earlier blogs, but fuck it! Here it is again ;-) Sweat me!! I AM!!! LOL. Goodnight.

The Wind & The Flower

gentle breeze
blow for me
make my petals bend to please
let the colors of my skin
mend the soul
and conspire to tease
flowing seas of silent force
move mystery for me
sculpt insatiable transient need
come and go as you will
and let your skill overwhelm me
i am the flower to your wind
letting my beauty sooth the eye
while you orchestrate sky movement to uncloud me
you come upon me as zephyr
and leave me in turbulent ecstacy
i open up for you
and you conjure new bloom
yet in the stillness of my contentment
your absence is real
i can never hold you
i will never see the true you
i will only know how you make me feel
and linger in hopes
that you will blow my way again.

-- "The Wind & The Flower" (c) 2006 PoetiQ Sense Of Non

MySpace Blog 20060117

Wasted Energy!?!?!

Topic for tonight? Come on. You know it’s going to be about women! LOL. So here’s the scenario. I’m up in a club in the Ville having an alright time and I end up meeting these two sistas. They seem cool, so I’m dancing with one of them (and both, at times). The night ends and I break a fundamental rule of mine: DO NOT GET PHONE NUMBERS IN CLUBS! Yes, folks, I actually DON’T go seeking phone numbers in clubs. I had a stalker a while back and that was one too many. In any event, I let the haze of jack and coke dull my senses for a hot minute and ask this sista for her math. She’s a little reluctant but I insist (man – no more drinking for me). I get the number but I send her text messages instead of actually calling. This seems like no big deal to me since texting has become my latest drug. Well, we have a few exchanges and finally she sends me a message that says, ”I gave you the number for you to call me.” I was like, ”oh snap! That’s right! I’m fucking up!” I decide to call. I preface the conversation with ”is this a bad time to talk” and she tells me that she’s got to call her mom shortly and has a few minutes to talk. I swear. I should have RUN FOR THE HILLS at that point. We have a ten minute conversation that was like pulling teeth. You ever have one of those conversations where it’s like a question and (short) answer session? I asked her where she was from in response to something she said. She replies, ”don’t you remember? I told you in the club!” I’m like, ”that was over a week ago and I was also tipsy” (to myself). The conversation went down hill from there. I felt like I was trying to carry the conversation the whole time. If she didn’t want to talk, she could have simply said so.

I don’t know what the title of this blog will be, but it should be WASTED ENERGY!!! I went through my phone today and the other day to delete WASTED SPACE. There were quite a few folks that will NEVER be called again, so OUT OF THE PHONE and OFF OF THE COMPUTER they went. Then I got on Myspace and deleted a few ”friends” and deleted a few other folks off Facebook. I was on a roll, reclaiming my energy! LOL. *sigh* It’s later in the evening/morning and now I’m watching Happy Days & The Cosby Show. I can’t decide if I want to be white bread or toasted white bread. I find it curious how ”Happy Days” stayed on so long while maintaining a token black every other 30 episodes! There must have been no blacks in Milwaukee. Shit, an alien came from Ork and he couldn’t even be black. Well dang, no sooner said than done, here’s a token black guy.

Back to the subject. Folks. . . RECLAIM YOUR ENERGY!!! Don’t get phone numbers in clubs!!! Hahahahahahahahahaha. . . .

Dat’s My Nagin! (Topic Change)

Okay, Ray Nagin has got to be the funniest mayor on the planet. I thought some of the antics of Philly’s Mayor Street were interesting, but Ray wins the award. Not only does he say that Nawlins will be a ”chocolate” city by God’s will. If that’s not enough, we should know that ”God is mad at America” which is why He has sent so many hurricanes.

Now, that could be enough, but NOOOOOOOOOOO!! Instead of just sticking by what he said (i.e. no need for a crazy explanation), he decides to explain his statement this way. (paraphrased) What he meant was that if you mix dark chocolate with white chocolate, you get a tasty chocolate drink. Huh?!?!?!?!?

Ray, the statement wreaks of racism, even though I know what he was TRYING to say. We need to recognize that, if a white mayor had made that same comment (with the obvious substitution of whites instead of black), the NAACP and about 4 other permed-hair brothas would be bitching on Larry King!!

Anyway, I hope New Orleans will be rebuilt BETTER but inviting to all populations of people. New Orleans doesn’t get all of its flavor from the black community. You’ve got french influences, spanish influences, african influences, and a mix of everything in between!!! It’s a true gumbo!!!! Let’s not mess up the taste.

MySpace Blog 20060119

Ruminations On Friendship

Ahhh. . . the joys of public journals! My private journal is gather dusty bits (since it’s digital), but I find that my insatiable appetite for public opinion, at times, is far greater than my need to maintain mystery!

So, my latest thought. . . friendship and the circles we create. We make friends in school that become lifelong friends. These friendships may have started as far back as elementary school, for me it was junior high since I did elementary school in Philly. My two closest friends were met in junior high school and high school, respectively. I made many friends in high school and college, but the inner circle would certainly include these two. Now, here’s the interesting part. When we move away and our friends are miles or oceans away, we end up making new friends in new areas. Just by virtue of human nature, you may become closer with these new friends than you are with your old ones. I know there are some things that my old friends know nothing about. So, that brings us to the next ring of a growing set of concentric rings that will define this ”friendly” construct. This next ring includes those NEWER friends. This ring is small as well and could be mistaken for the innermost ring with the exception of the AGE of the ring.

Okay, to continue my ALL OVER THE PLACE rumination, let’s now consider the general nature of things. Folks NEED friends. People need People! l have many friends but not many in my inner rings. It amazes me how folks want to get in that inner ring with all the privileges and rights thereof :-) U like my fake legal talk don’t you?

I mean really. I have had so many incidences of ”newly made” friends wanting to know shit about me that I only share with a VERY SMALL FEW!!! Then, they’re all ”I thought we were close” and shit. Have we truly become a society completely on a NEED TO KNOW BASIS?!?!?!

I have a big question: what is a friend? I have slept with friends before. I have truly platonic friends. Of course, I’m speaking of the female ones right now. I have heard so many times that you CANNOT sleep with friends. One of my oldest females friends (24 years and running) and I still talk. We don’t have ”issues” and I’m even godfather to her daughter. There is love between us, but does she know ALL MY BUSINESS? No. So, is a friend someone on whom you can count no matter what? Is a friend someone who shows unconditional love? So what is a girlfriend or boyfriend? Can friends be lovers? Can two people in a committed relationship truly be BEST FRIENDS?

I’ve been thinking about the future of human relationships lately. Removing the gay angle, there is a lopsidedness between men and women. Unless a whole bunch of ladies start fighting wars, that shit aint gonna change. So, where does that leave the idea of marriage and monogamy? DISCLAIMER: PLEASE DON’T GET ME WRONG. I’M NOT ADVOCATING THE DEATH OF MARRIAGE AND MONOGAMIST RELATIONSHIPS. READ THESE NEXT LINES AS SIMPLE THOUGHTS!! Will woman start openly sharing men? Openly meaning that women will be content knowing they’re not the only one! (I know there’s some grammatical craziness with that sentence, but get over it) Will lesbianism take off (even more so)?? I swear. I turn a corner and there’s another woman tonguing another woman down. I have tried to chalk this up to the bicurious FAD, but I am given pause. I don’t have any strong opinions on homosexuality. If that’s your thing, then do it. I have to wonder though. Have women started looking attractive to other women because the male pool has gotten smaller? If there were 5 men or 1 woman, a dude wouldn’t start looking good to me. I’d just be a masturbating fool scratching to survive!! (hahahahahaha. . . where is that line from?)

Anyway, it’s MLK day; I didn’t feel like doing any work; and this is what 30-somethings ruminate about. Sue me and have a nice day....