Saturday, January 3, 2009

What Is The New Thirty?

A 20-something Man Trapped In a 30-something Man’s Body

I occasionally breeze through one of three of my magazines: Remix, URB, and Mac|Life. It’s usually when I stroll through URB that I feel my age. I find that I have hobbies that belong to a young man and the pages of URB make me recognize that the man in the mirror aint necessarily the man in the magazine!

I listen to dance music, correction, deep soulful house music. I still like to shake my ass and get my sweat on at a club that caters to this genre. I’m terminally attached to my Macbook (Pro) and my creative side rules my attention span more than my occupational side. I enjoyed being a club Dj (and a mobile Dj). I spend countless hours on Logic and Reason making beats that will never make it to the ears of anyone else (but my sweetie). And, I truly believe I could be very happy in Sketchers, Jeans, and v-neck t-shirts, kicking it on the beach with said laptop and my ipod (playing a little Aya, of course).

These are not the ideals of a 30-something year old man.

Generation X wonders Why....

They say that youth is wasted on the young and I find this little adage to be a truism as I wander into the twilight of my 30’s. When I was “young and dumb,” I can’t really say that I didn’t enjoy myself to the fullest, but I find my habits as a more seasoned man would probably have a better fit in my less enlightened era. Who can say? I certainly haven’t found myself writing any lyrics lately. My rap days are over even if the poet in me refuses to die! But I wonder why my generation couldn’t have benefitted from some of the luxuries of THIS generation. We grew up with BET and MTV in their infancy and remember the Grandmasters, The Treacherous, The Fearless, and Rockmasters. We now struggle with the Lil’s and Young’s. I love lyrical skills and can certainly dig a good beat, but I feel that youth is truly wasted on the young. LYRICS folks!!! Get with it!!!

In any event...back on track....

Give me my 30-something wisdom and focus mixed with my young mind, exuberance, and desire. Pour it into a younger body. And, hell, while we’re dreaming, put a couple of extra bucks in my pocket. Ahhh, perfection!

Shall I spill a little more envy on the screen?

Perhaps.

Friday, November 21, 2008

First Miss America, Then President, What's Next?

And how long will we continue to suffer from our past?

That could be the second part of the question but it’s really the leading point of this blog. Yet another conversation-inspired blog, I have to say that I’ve been pondering the future of Black folks worldwide. If you wanted to write a book on how to destroy a race of people in such a self-perpetuating way, one would only need to look at slavery in America and the rape of Africa throughout history.

Now, I’m no history expert, but I know a thing or two about a thing or two!

Here in the U.S., Blacks have lived in a state of despair and hopelessness for an eternity. There are still a few glass ceilings we have yet to break through. What I find disturbing (as a side note) is how the anti-affirmative action folks are drooling over Obama’s win. “Well,” they say, “a Black person can become the President. Why do we need to keep helping them?” Are you kidding me? We do know that affirmative action benefitted white women more than any other group, right? Anyway, I digress. Back to the ceilings.... While this country managed to elect a non-white man for its highest office in the land, it still harbors some deep-seeded hate. Not only are there people who hate us but there are some of us that hate us (and white folks). Much of that hate is driven by fear. White people, as a whole, are still scared of Black folks on some level. If you enslave a people and do centuries of irreparable mental damage to them, surely you, as the oppressor, should expect some good old retaliation. Yet, we haven’t. Black men don’t attack white men or women because of some hatred of white people. Most of the time, it’s based on some economic struggle: poverty makes people do bad things.

Let’s not stray off topic....

How long will the politics of fear and the culture of hate that lies just beneath the surface of America continue to thrive? I thought once all the people who remembered slavery, the civil rights movement, and how racism overtly showed itself died we’d somehow manage to start with a clean slate. We’d somehow have a population of people who knew nothing about inequality. Ha...how naive of me! Parents pass their hatred on to their kids and it becomes a cycle of hate. Black parents, in an effort to not give their kids a false sense of hope, remind them of “how things used to be.” But again I ask, “how do we move beyond this?

Is there an answer?

Can we teach our kids, black and white, how to look beyond color, fear, ignorance, and history and to embrace the possibility of unity, mutual respect, and universal love. Will you? Will I?

I often have conversations with friends about interracial dating and there are a few that have some serious issues with it. ”It’s about preserving the Black family,“ they say. ”How can we, as a race, move beyond our problems if we don’t have a strong familial base that starts with a Black mother and father?“ I have a few issues with this thinking. It falls along the same line of thought that says two gay people will raise a gay child. Well, most gay folks were raised by two heterosexual people. There have been plenty of bad Black folks that were raised in two-parent single race families. We can’t automatically believe that a black man and a black woman will raise a good black child. Again, this also points to those same issues. We, as black folks, have so many layers of...wait for it...phuckedupedness that it’s hard to simply wrap some ideal like a black female and black male family structure around the problem. It’s beyond that. We need to look within ourselves and address our own issues about race, family, and human identity. (too deep for ya?)

Why are WE here, on this Earth?

I submit that perhaps we need to adopt a global view of things to put our ills in perspective. The rape of Africa was able to happen because of a few factors: tribal wars, a propensity toward trust, and greed. This, just to name a few. The colonization and de-colonization of several African countries certainly didn’t help (shall we talk about Rwanda?) the cause. It’s like we’ve been phucked up on several fronts in several parts of the world. Yet, we manage to still hold out hope. I, too, am led by this blind hope that we may, one day, remove the shackles of the mental bondage that has enslaved us for far longer than any person, group, or country has. We may be, one day, be able to put ourselves in the global context and assert ourselves beyond the confines of our history. How lovely it would be for someone to say, ”oh man, we have a black kid in our class; he’s going to phuck up the curve (by getting a 100 on the exam).“ You know, the kind of shit we say when there’s an Asian kid.

This could go on forever!

I am simply sharing some thoughts. I’d like to have further discussion about this. Perhaps someone will indulge me. Perhaps, I’ll write another part to this because I’m not done! Really, there is so much to say! So...first Miss America (Vanessa Williams), then President (Barack Obama), and then a new world view of people of color that’s positive?!?!?! Hmmmm....

Peace!

Tuesday, November 4, 2008

WOO-HOO!!!!!!

Do you believe!!!!?!?!?!?!?!?

I’ve been glued to the television with my fiancée watching history being made! I would never have believed that I would see a black man win the presidency of the United States. He’s not only a black man; he’s a good man! He’s a spiritual man! The hope that he has inspired in this country is enough to drive anybody to tears! Black, white, rich, poor, young and old: folks are inspired!!!!!

THANK YOU GOD!!!!

Pray for President-elect Obama, his family, Vice-President-elect Biden, his family, and this country!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I Elect To Be Historical

What chapter is my picture in?

People, people, people...the day is here! My fiancée and I couldn’t sleep last night and managed to stay up until about 5 A.M. before we succumb to sleep. In any event, we ended up heading to the polls around 7:45 A.M. with a sense of history and pride. When we arrived, there a small crowd inside and while I knew everyone wasn’t there for Obama, I had a very strong feeling that folks were like me, in awe of the moment.

There are so many levels of significance and importance to this election. It’s not just about a black man running for President or a woman running as Vice President. This country has been in the toilet for so long that we’ve been in desperate need of a new direction, change, hope. We can continue arguing back and forth about how folks are going to vote along racial line, but we can’t get caught up in that. Racists and sexists won’t disappear because of this election. There will always be those who believe a black man can’t run a country or that a woman will never be ready for the big chair or even the second chair. But this is a momentous occasion. It is like God needed to hit us over the head with a blunt instrument: economic collapse, wars and rumors of wars, climactic changes, and moral warfare. The time is now!

If you can accept that we as a country need to move beyond our fears, apathy, and moral malaise, then we can and should look at this election as more than historically significant. Republicans and Democrats obviously disagree about whom should lead us into this new era, but one thing is clear and bipartisan. That person needs to have a vision rooted into morality, dare I say, Christian values or at least a God-fearing person. When you put God first, all things are possible. We also stop arguing about spreading the wealth. This is a rich country. Why are there homeless people? Why are there millions of children who live in poverty? We have been blessed with so much, yet we don’t believe in sharing. The pervasive me doctrine has led us astray. It’s not about me; it’s about we!

Yes, I believe Barack Obama is that person. It’s not all about experience. We’ve had more than enough experienced people running this country (into the ground). Experience without any vision or moral compass will only lead to depravity. Here we have a married man of conviction and substance. He is intelligent and God-fearing. He is not perfect and nor should we ever expect him to be, but at least, he has the right stuff. If you bake a cake with bad ingredients, the cake will not be good. We finally have someone with all the right ingredients. God willing, the cake will be tasty I had to keep the cake analogy going!

So, I pray that everyone voted. I remember my first election (ugh, Dukakis), but I’ll remember this one for years to come. I hope that it won’t be the last time I get a chance to be part of something important. Let’s keep the Obama family in our prayers and this country. It’s a new day and I pray that Obama will be God’s instrument to lead us into this era!

Tuesday, October 7, 2008

Thoughts Internal: Opus VII

“...Dems fightin’ words....”

Well now, it seems like the Democrats may be getting a little bit of a backbone after all. The other day, the Obama-Biden campaign released a video discussing the Charles Keating savings & loan scandal from the 80’s. Please feel free to have a look at Keating Economics & John McCain's Judgement. It looks like our clean-cut (and articulate) candidate is ready to sling a little mud.

WELL IT’S ABOUT FUCKING TIME!!!!!

Whew...had to get that out of my system. If any of you democrats remember the past two elections, our candidates have tended to be straight up PUNKS! Hell, I’ll take you back to Dukakis -- WIMP! Gore was no better and Kerry allowed the RepubliKKKans to convince folks that he wasn’t for the military!!!! This man’s record was impeccable.

But, I digress....

Between all the hub-bub being created by Tina Fey’s portrayals of Sarah Palin (see Tina Fey does Sarah Palin), the RollingStone article (see Make-Believe Maverick) and now this new video, one can only hope that the word and the POINT is getting out there: McCain is bad for America and Palin is even worse!

I’m not really clear as to why this is a close race even with all the closet American racism out there. I mean damn! Your choice is a man whose very opportunistic ideals had him embroiled in the second biggest economic scandal in U.S. history (yup, this craziness going on now finally took the title). Or, you can go with the junior Senator who’s been about the people! He’s intelligent, virtually scandal-free, and so damn clean that even some white folks had to question if he was BLACK ENOUGH (now, that was RACIST). Seriously folks, why is this even a contest? He chose as a running mate a governor from a state that most of us only think about when we’re ordering crab legs. If McCain thinks that his drilling mantra would have benefited by having the governor on his ticket, then he’s dumber than his wife looks! This man is really a different version of Bush. He had his freewheeling days in the Naval Academy. He benefited from daddy and granddaddy cleaning up his messes. But, he has even managed to manipulate the media to (almost) Karl Rove levels.

Are we really that confused America?

We have about a month of partisan speeches, mud slinging, and rhetoric before we head to the polls to choose the leader of the free world (man, I would love to know who coined that phrase). U can go with the maverick and his sidekick OR you can go with proven leadership, an agent of change and experience (Biden doesn’t just bring his feisty tongue to the ticket).

But of course, the choice is YOURS!!!!!!

Stay tuned....

Friday, October 3, 2008

Thoughts Internal: Opus VI

The Fucked Up Things People Say

There’s our topic for the night (or morning). I’ve managed to go through these decades allowing some of the most, for lack of a better way to put it, FUCKED UP things to be said to me. I don’t know if people have said them with some kind of silent malice or maybe they were attempting to be straight up nasty, but I was left wondering what it was that I did to warrant such comments.

There’s nothing like people who say things like, “Wow, I can’t believe YOU’RE getting married. My goodness. If you can do it, then I know I can do it!” Yeah, so in what bizarro world is this a compliment? It’s a purely backhanded compliment, at the very least. Yet, I don’t see it that way at all. It’s a FUCKED UP THING TO SAY! You can dance around it all day long. When you finally come around to evaluating a statement like that, you’ll reach the same conclusion.

Now....

Can I say that these comments are made by people whom I consider enemies? No. Can I somehow attribute these comments to drunken stupor or moments of herbal-induced madness? No. These folks are typically sane. They say what they say with a straight face. Sometimes, it’s said face to face, over the telephone, via text message, through email, by proxy, or even smoke signal.

And....

I have said nothing to these folks. Nope, not one word. I’ve sat silently, passive-aggressive behavior on full. Feel free to say whatever you want to me and I guess I’ll continue allowing you to.

Well....

Those days are over. It’s been a bit too long. No more Mr. Nice Guy. Acquaintances, associates, friends, really good friends, and even best friends are on notice. I am not taking any more shit!

But wait, it gets better....

Planning a wedding and deciding who you want there becomes an interesting task in practice. I wrote a blog a while back when the thought of getting married was just a distant thought, a distant possibility. Well, it’s October 4, 2008. The shit is real now. I’ve had to make some tough decisions regarding invites. How do you not invite a friend you’ve known for 30 years and invite someone you’ve know for 3 years? How do you cut an aunt and keep her child? Tight budgets and paying out of your own pocket bring very real truths to bear: everybody can’t be happy. Hell, everybody AINT GONNA BE HAPPY!

I recently re-read a response to Opus IV by a friend of mine. She recanted her original statement but it made an impression on me. It’s true. Some friends will not be invited and they will take umbrage and may feel a little less important in my life. And, I have to admit. I was briefly worried about this, but then I gave it some more thought. I’ve had many friends get married; I didn’t attend all of their weddings. I didn’t let the lack of an invitation diminish my feelings of friendship for them. I was happy for them regardless. You see, in my fucked up world, I believe that when you’re truly happy for someone, all that doesn’t matter. Thankfully, my friend sang a different tune in a later response. I think my anger would have found its way into an argument between us.

I used to think that it was my duty to make sure my friends became my fiancé’s friends. It’s not. If she introduces me to a man or woman whom I don’t like, I would like to believe that she’d recognize this contempt and not push the issue. We can’t like everyone. I’ve tried to force this issue with several different people at various times in my life with different significant others. I’ve always found that people have tried to assert their perceived importance in my life. I had a rather big argument with a sista about 5 years ago about this very topic. She couldn’t quite understand why one friend of mine was able to visit whenever and why I would rearrange my schedule to accommodate these visits. However, when it came to her (the self-professed important person), such concessions were never made.

You Aint Her!!!!

This seems like a pretty simple concept but some folks don’t get it. To quote a basketball aphorism, “Play Your Position!”

Nuff said.

Now let me go through my email archives and find some more examples of fucked up things said to me. I may have to shout those people out by name to make the next installment more interesting!!

Goodnight :-)

Sunday, May 4, 2008

Thoughts Internal: Opus V

Life brings about new discoveries just when you think there's nothing new to learn. With every new change in my life, there is a positive (and sometimes negative) lesson that should be never forgotten. If I may, life is an upward journey that requires you to sometimes lighten your load. Baggage in the form of past issues, past failures, friends who are not truly there for you, and even your own self-imposed shackles all conspire to hold you from true achievement.

Now...having said all that, let me say it plain. I cannot stand folks who pretend to be happy for you but they're really not. I guess I make life seem like a simple affair. Do what's right. Don't screw folks. Be genuine.

It all seems so very simple.

I've been dating the love of my life for a year now and it's been happiness, conflict, joy, and understanding. We've had folks share in our happiness and we've had some folks play the role. The angry, but passive-aggressive, side of me yearns to mention names and simply call folk out but that's okay. When the wedding invitation doesn't arrive in the mail, perhaps that will be enough of an indictment.