Yes, it has been a minute since I blogged. It's certainly not for lack of material but more lack of motivation. I also realized that a lot of my blogs were venting rants and I'm currently in a state of matured bliss :-)
It's been 7 months in this newfound happiness and I am feeling blessed! There are days when it's very easy and then there are those other days. I can only imagine how marriage is (no plans for that just yet, so don't ask).
Hmmm...now there's a good topic :-)
Marriage!!!
People, friends and the like, can be funny to me. A lot of people have a recipe-mentality when it comes to dating, relationships, marriage, etc. Add this and that, bake for a few months, and voila, something! I'm not afraid to state that I'm in love. It may be for the first time (or second time or third time) but I do know this. This woman of mine makes me smile. Even when I want to strangle her, I want to do it with a smile. Hahahahahahaha...that sounds kind of crazy! I should reword that :-) I crack me up!
Seriously folks....
I'm not sure why people think that a few months of dating equals wedding bells. The typical nonsense that dribbles out of their lips goes like this: "y'all have been dating for several months; you love her and she loves you; when's the wedding?" I have a penis and she's got a vagina, should we see about making a baby too?!?!? Ludicrous I tell ya! Love is not on a time line and neither should marriage be. When (and not if) I pop the question, it'll be because the time is right and not a day sooner! To me, marriage is a life-changing (for the better) event and not to be entered into simply because other folks think it's ABOUT TIME! Do I feel like I need to wait another 5 years (arbitrary time period -- relax) before popping the question? No, not at all. Will it happen tomorrow? Most likely not. I pray about these things. I know God will guide that decision. Surely if I could manage to go THIS LONG without (truly) having THIS FEELING, I can wait for God to say, "okay, it's time!"
And, while we're talking about marriage....
I have contended recently that weddings are simply big shows that people put on for their friends. A lot of the simplicity, elegant simplicity, is gone! Me, I don't need a big extravagant wedding. I'd like to get married in a church with my closest friends and family there. Now, what do I mean by closest friends? While I know a lot of people, I have no compunction about NOT inviting people. I have heard of people inviting ex-girlfriends and ex-boyfriends to their weddings as well as nieces of great uncles twice removed on the father's side. What's the point? I love you all but y'all aint all getting invited to the wedding. Feel some kind of way about it or not; that's just the plain truth. Someone once told me (and I'm sure you too) that "everybody aint happy for you!" At the same time, what's the point of the HUGE invitation list? Accumulation of gifts? I have more than I need. What about that large wedding party? HA! I'd be good if my two best buddies from high school stood up with me and that's it! Nothing against the other guys I know. They've been most like brothers to me.
**** pay attention to that FAMILY concept ****
My lady has asked me about my female friends and whom I would invite. Again, I have many of them but I would most likely only invite 2 or 3 for very particular reasons. Nothing against the others but that's what I would want. If you're reading this Stacy, you know you're at the top of the list ;-)
**** let's get back on topic...shall we ****
A church, a small assembly of friends and family, and a BANGIN reception!!! I have been asked why I feel so connected to THIS PARTICULAR GIRLFRIEND and I would have to say it's because we think so much alike about so many things. It's like we stare at the spectrograms (those pictures that look like a bunch of nothing until you let your eyes relax) and see the same images ALL THE TIME! (think: finishing each other's sentences) How many folks @ the wedding? No more than 100 and that could be cut down even further if we keep the mothers from inviting all of THEIR friends! The reception must-haves:
(1) liquor
(2) great food
(3) great dj -- cuz phuck all that NOT DANCING AT THE RECEPTION nonsense
The ceremony must-haves:
(1) traditional vows
(2) lighting of the unity candles
(3) blessing of the rings
(4) jumping of the broom
Now, we do have some disagreements. LOL! I see no reason for a string quartet but that's just me! 2 or 3 groomsmen and 2 or 3 bridesmaids -- CHECK!
THERE...in case you don't get an invitation, now you know what the wedding will be like :-)
**** Okay...enough wedding talk...my head is hurting ****
Well, folks, hopefully more to come. Maybe...maybe not! As usual, this is CC'd on my uniqpoet.blogspot.com site :-) Let the SLOWWWWW weaning (off of myspace) begin. LOL
Peace,
Me.
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3 comments:
I truly am happy that you're happy. It can be frustrating for people to assume there's a formula to dating (and to life in general). If I meet a guy, and go on ONE date... people start asking me questions like - are you in love? can you see yourself marrying him? I mean, is it realistic for me even entertain those questions when I can barely remember the guy's last name? But, it's so common for people to try to impose their life plan on me, I guess I should be used to it. For example, when I told people I quit my job, people started asking me questions like - so, when are you going back to work? are you going to go back to school? I mean, can I be on my own agenda and follow the life plan God has for me?
Anyhoo, as far as your wedding ideals. Not that you want my opinion, but I don't know how I feel about the limited invite list to the wedding (yours or other friends)... I've had to cut "friends" off for their failure to invite me to their wedding. It certainly sends the following message, "you don't make the cut... you're not in the top 100 list of people who I consider important enough to share this special day with." I mean, I certainly understand limited budgets, or even just the idea of an "intimate" setting... but, if there are over 100 people at a wedding, and I'm not invited, I take a non-invite as a clear statement, "you are a friend of the past, not someone who my new wife and I plan on sharing our lives with in the future." So, instead of faking the funk... if I'm not in someone's top 100 list (particularly someone who I talk to almost everyday - not saying you, just "friends" in general), I'd prefer they cut me off before it gets to that point... and especially as it relates to my male friends... if their wife isn't cool with me... then, I hope they cut me off before it gets to the wedding invite time... I don't think it's realistic to maintain a close friendship with a male who is in a relationship if his wife isn't cool with our friendship (or at least if he doesn't take steps to help the wife become cool with the friendship by expressing the importance of the friendship to his wife). So, I'm rambling... but, I haven't commented on a blog in a long time... so... I'm making up for lost time.
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I've decided to make a comment in response to the recent group-text/email here on this blog because it was when I read it back in December that "I knew" she/this relationship was different. I especially knew it when you said "even when I want to strangle her, I want to do it with a smile" (or something like that). That's when I thought to myself... wow! LaToya must be THE TRUTH!
So, I'll start with the standard CONGRATULATIONS! But, I feel like that word doesn't make quite the impact that I'd like to make. You, of all people, are one of those folks who there's no doubt in my mind when you've done something like this that it's ordained by God. I know you don't take it lightly, and because of that, I can only thank God for letting His light shine through you through this most recent decision. Not that it's about me.... but, your recent decision proves to me - if it can happen to you, it can happen to any of us... if we just let His plan unfold (as opposed to trying to artificially construct "the perfect" relationship).
So, I'm happy for you. Proud of you. Thankful for you. ... and all that good stuff ...
By the way, I've changed my mind. I agree with you now on the limited invite list... cuz recently I've realized committing marriage before God is not a "movie" to be watched by a billion spectators and "fans" .... but, an intimate experience meant only for those who are willing to commit along with the couple to pray for and contribute to the success of the marriage...
I love you both. LaToya, thanks for agreeing to marry our friend... and for accepting all of us into your life as well.
God bless!
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